Wednesday, 8 June 2011

English Translation of chapter 5 pg. 3 of Alan Moore's From Hell

As I could not find the English Translation of this anywhere, I thought I would post my own version of it. This is translation of the conversation between Alois and Klara Hitler (parents of Adolf) showing what is presumed to be the conception of said dictator. It is to coincide with the beginning of the main event of the graphic novel, the Whitechapel murders of 1888.
Alois: "Klara, what is it?"
Klara My God, My God.
Alois: Klara, my darling, what is the matter? Did I hurt you?
Klara: It was not your fault. I had seen a vision, a terrible dream. There was a church, it was in a bad, place full of Jews. The doors were burst open and it poured out everywhere. All the people, all the Jews, it had washed them away so easily. There was blood, Alois, they drowned in blood.
Alois:Take it easy, my dear, don't cry. It was just pure imagination Everything's fine. Everything's fine.

Sunday, 31 October 2010

On googling my real name.

As otherwise suggested in the about me section of this blog, I am not called Vienna Scotwald-Green, infact my real name is Laura. In an innocent act on day I was google imaging my name, seeing the fine array of Laura's that the world has produced. Then I had an idea to mess around with the safe search button to see if Laura's were really as big a group of sluts as the rest of the girls names referenced in the article linked above. These are my discoveries. All images are from the top row of results on the first page.
Safe search strict.

Not bad girls! True there's a bikini clad model on row three but apparantly not as popular as the Laura range of pottery and a creepy ass poster of some eyes for a movie called Eyes of Laura Mars.

This is our legacy girls. Eyes.

And a random Victorian chick and a chair have also turned up.

Slutometer. 5 out of 26. I will let you judge about the sluttiness of the pottery.

Safe search moderate.

Holy shit what is that!

Oh god that's... uh!

The rest isn't so bad, the pot has been moves down by a scantily clad muscular sports woman and both a car and a poster for the film Laura seem to have crept in.

Sluttiness rating. 7 out of 27.

Safe search off.

Ooh yeah baby, now for the sexy sexyness!

Petty much more oif the same, but there is an X-rated picture of a chick with long legs called Laura Vandervoot and the pot has been shuffled down even more by the slut parade.

Slutometer. 7 out of 27 not counting the two apperences of Ms Vandervoot.

Overall slut factor.

Hey hey, not that bad! Compared to the results of the article up top we are tame dude!

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

life goes on, veerry sloowlly......

welcome to the greatest show on earth...
so, the exciting life of Vienna scotwald-green. today i stroked a tassel. no that is not a euphemism mum is washing the curtains, and the tie back tassel thingy got tangled up with the curtain cord, so i had to attempt to untangle it. gave up and returned to planning our trip to the Sherlock Holmes museum (i am very exciting.)
Also, i went to the hospital so they could examine my teeth. i should be having tempourary braces in a few months forr the next two years. Two years?! the world could very well end between then and now!
hyu (the sound of my head hitting the key board)

Tuesday, 10 August 2010


welcome to the greatest show on earth...
am incredibly bored. hit the internet with intentions of doing what i do when i am really bored, even more bored than i am when i rewatch shane dawson videos. i try and see what the internet will give me on the subject of jack the ripper. and there are some slightly crazy people out there who love to find out as much as possible about some people who if they had survived, their bones would be dust. but then again, isn't that just what history is. nothing much to say, apart from that i'm really bored. and i have decided to abandone the insitute of capital letters. the last rebel.

Saturday, 7 August 2010

welcome to the greatest show on earth...
So, this is it. I have animals spilling out of every crevice, there are stick insects on my desk, a hamster on my dressing table, a dog generally wandering about and two chinchillas in the shed. Someone help me, I don't deserve this sort of treatment. I had about five hours sleep last night because the hamster kept on wandering around it's cage that is virtually by my ear. You start to loose it a bit after listening to three hours straight wheel running. I got sadistic after a while and pressed a finger against the wheel and stopped it. I could see the look of surprise on her little furry face as she realised that it her wheel had stopped working, and she moved off. I shouldn't be left on my own.

Monday, 26 July 2010

i am a narcissist!

welcome to the greatest show on earth...
I was bored, therefore I did what I do when I'm bored. Hit the online psychological tests. After being called a sociopath for half an hour, I found this little gem of a test, with these results:
paranoid: very high
schizoid: high
schizotypal: very high
antisocial: high
borderline: very high
histrionic: moderate
narcissistic: high
evident: very high
dependent: high
OCD: moderate.
I worry about myself sometimes.
If you want to become a narrcissist, go to: for hours of fun!

Saturday, 10 July 2010

the end of civilisation!

welcome to the greatest show on earth...
Either I have been subscribing to too many conspiracy theory podcast (mysterious universe guys, I love you! My favourite Australian, even before Kylie!) but there are many mysterious things in the world. I mean, everyone know the 2012 world ending conspiracy, but that's based on a calender made by a bunch of people who were whipped out by, for all we know, aliens. But then again, according to my esteemed source (wiki answers) the predicted the rise of three Antichrists, Hitler, Napoleon and some other nasty person who is yet to be evil at the time of writing. (I have a feeling I'm looking at it now, yes INTERNET I'm on to you. You may get your Nobel peace prize, but so did Barack Obama (A.K.A the new nickname of BaOb that I have just created) before he even did an thing. So HA!)
Anyway, this all hinges on modern day calculations that change the Mayan calender into to days Gregorian calender, which could be a little hinky at times (who does that anyway? Translates CALENDERS?!). There is a much higher chance that the world will end in 2013. There has been a definite lapse in solar activity in the past few years, but know the sun is entering a 22- year magnetic energy cycle coincides with its 11-year peak in super powered sun spot activity. Eek.
This has happened before, in the late 1800's. A few telegraph weirds were messed with, and a few houses caught on fire, but not much. But think what would happen with all our electronic devises that we rely on to live our lives. It would be the deconstruction of society as we know it.
The devises that we are addicted to are going to be useless.
I for one will be in Australia. It won't affect the southern hemisphere, so see ya!